Remember the time we pretended we were in a band and had fake interviews with Rolling Stone Magazine. Remember the time we jumped into her lake butt-ass naked. Remember the time her parents found her lighter. Remember the times we were late for curfews. Remember the time the cops yelled at us for being in the park past 11. Remember the time we crawled through a drainage tunnel, swearing to God it was either haunted or a homeless person lived in it. Remember the time we ran around a graveyard, breathing in the dead night air, wondering what kind of lives these people lived. Remember the time she stole her dad’s credit card, that mischievous smile on her face when she said, “Wanna do something crazy?” Remember that time she swore my house was haunted and stayed up all night waiting while I slept peacefully. Remember the time we stole money from her dad to buy food and gas and drove until we were lost. Remember the time we drove an hour away to buy her a black and green corset that she never actually wore. Remember the way she always had the coolest clothes. Remember the way she cut all her hair off into a short, boy cut, which again, no one understood but me. Remember the way she laughed at her own jokes, which no one else seemed to really understand but me. Whenever I remember high school, I’ll remember her. Smoking 27s in her car, driving around at night, wishing for something more. This was our lives our sophomore and junior years. ![]() If she thought it spoke to her, then it spoke to her. But I still wasn’t even sure what the lyrics to the song were, even after listening to it ten times. ![]() And it’s like they were written specifically for you. Sometimes songs just connect with your soul. It had just rained, and the back roads were covered in water. The windows were down and the sun was setting. ![]() “Do you get what I’m saying?” she asked, brushing the hair out of her face. One night we listened to the same song on repeat the whole thirty-minute drive from my house to hers. Then she took me home, because she had her license and I didn’t. We fell asleep in the sun and got angry sunburns. The next morning we got up around noon, made banana pancakes, and lay out on the boat. “I’m tired and clearly we aren’t going to do anything tonight.” “Let’s go to bed,” she said, rolling her eyes at her cellphone, which had remained dormant all night. “I don’t think my name means anything,” I told her, draining the rest of the cup, loving the way it burnt on its way down my esophagus. And we deserved it, didn’t we, for the hell we put up with? We wanted chaos. When are we going to have something to do other than drive around late at night, screaming at the top of our lungs to our favorite songs? When are we going to stop having older guys buy us cigarettes and rationing them between the two of us? (Better yet, when will we stop coughing every time we take a hit of those cigarettes?) When will we get hot boyfriends? When will our lives be like the movies? I thought about how some poor fish was probably going to eat them. She’d poured in a lot this time, filling the bottle with water so her parents wouldn’t know. Our legs dangled off the edge of the dock, a frog croaking somewhere in the distance, the stars filling the sky and circling before our eyes. “What a fucking joke, right?” She laughed as she reached for cup shared between us - rum and coke mixed, always just enough so her parents wouldn’t notice us taking it. As a therapist who has witnessed this process first-hand in my clients, I’m here to offer advice on navigating the pain of outgrowing friendships.She said her name meant “in Christ” as she took another drag from her cigarette, the eyeliner around her eyes making her look like a raccoon. Outgrowing friendships is a process that can cause a range of emotions, from sadness and confusion to even guilt. It’s important to invest in friendships that uplift and inspire you. While some relationships may endure and deepen over time, others may fade away or become toxic. Although it can be a tough pill to swallow, outgrowing relationships with people is a significant part of growing and finding yourself. However, it’s common to outgrow friendships as we evolve and grow as individuals. We treasure our friendships and invest time and energy to maintain them. While we may wish for our friendships to last forever, the reality is that we naturally change and outgrow friendships that used to nurture and sustain us. But, just like romantic relationships, friendships are not immune to growing pains. Friendships are often one of the most significant and consistent relationships people have outside of family- they can span decades and distances.
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